Don't Envy

my new Energy Star washing machine, or new gas dryer with Intellisensor. First of all I don't even have them yet, but more importantly our current washing machine is rusting. Not only is it rusting (on the inside) it's so off balanced that when it's on the spin cycle the entire house shakes. You would think that would be enough to get us to start looking for a new washing machine, but no, it wasn't until the dryer started to sound like it had a giant hamster inside it (scrEEEch, scrEEch, scrEEEch) that I finally did the research and ordered new appliances. I wish I was more excited about the purchase. I wish that watching the pennies saved on our electric bill, or enjoying the quiet these appliances promise sounded sexier to me. No matter how I look at it, the sheer practicality of this purchase is a big yawn. Being a grown-up is overrated.

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I have no idea how we accumulated so much stuff in our closets and cubby holes. Didn't we just clean out the attic a couple of years ago to renovate it? For the past few weeks I've been cleaning out the closets. I was never going to bring all those baby clothes and infant items to the consignment store. It just wasn't going to happen. I was never going to wear those clothes, or those shoes, or find use for that ______. Happily, I've sent things to the local thrift store (proceeds go to victims of domestic violence), a ton of stuff will be making its way to the Dominican Republic (recently ravaged by hurricane), more will be on its way to Brazil, and other things to a friend of a friend who is in a tight spot. Getting your closets organized feels good. Helping others feels better.

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I realized something about myself at the dentist yesterday. I never watch the local news. I have been so consumed with news on Dafur, Iraq, the environment, and counting my blessings that I live in America, that I stopped paying attention to what was going on in my own backyard. Now I remember why.

Our dentist has a TV on while he works on your mouth. It's a good distraction because instead of being terrified about what was actually going on in my mouth I am now terrified to leave my house. Within five minutes I learned about the home invasion that resulted in the death of a mother and her two daughters, about a woman raped in a parking lot in front of her two young children, about an irate boyfriend who stormed into his girlfriend's house to shoot her, missed, and shot her mother instead, all while the couple's 4-month old baby was in the next room. Another irate boyfriend who stabbed his girlfriend to death and only served nine months in jail. A car jacking. Another Home Invasion, and a young girl who had been imprisoned in a secret room by a neighbor for over a year. People, I wasn't sure if this was a preview for a Lifetime Movie or real news. I wanted to lock myself in the house after watching the barrage of violence against women. All I could think about was how dangerous it is to be a woman. This wasn't a new concept for me, obviously, but something about being held captive in the the dentist chair, and watching what I've avoided for the last four years, well, let's just say, it reminded me.

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In writing news I was recently solicited and found myself in the embarrassing position of having nothing available to send. I'm trying not to be hard on myself since it wasn't poetry they were looking for, they were interested in something more like a lyric essay.
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We saw Gone Baby Gone on Saturday night. What an utterly depressing movie. There's a scene in there that I will never be able to remove from my mind. Not what I expected. At all. I wanted to see Into the Wild, but unfortunately the logistics didn't work out.

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And that concludes this edition of the Domestic Bliss segment here on Lit Windowpane.

Y'all have a nice day.