I woke up today to the big event I've been dreading for the past year. Yes, for the past year I have been a walking & talking cliche. For the first time in my life I researched diets, and anti-aging secrets. I had spent most of my life working hard not to be objectified and the irony of my complete and utter panic that I would no longer be desired did not escape me. I had gazed longingly at the cute outfits in the juniors section as I grudgingly walked past it to the misses section. I felt the first pangs ever of envy for all the young hot poets accomplishing more than I ever will, more than I ever even aspired to accomplish. I envied their youth, and imagined their lives to be carefree, without mire, and with a strong support system, -- Dear young hot unnamed poets, my apologies for my ugly pangs of envy, you deserve every one of your hard won accolades, I celebrate you! Good on ya! -- it was wrong, it was a little gross, OK a lot gross, and I'm happy to report that it all ended yesterday. I came through another developmental stage intact. Please someone tell me I am finished with developmental stages -- lie to me! I woke up this morning to the sky still up, the birds singing, the sun shining, the hills were alive with the sound of music, People. And I knew then, what everyone else always knows, that this is the middle of my life, I have many, many blessing to be thankful for, and that I still have the rest of my life to make something of myself.
Hey, did you hear that? It's me embracing middle age*.
(with a nod to reb livingston for coining this excellent phrase)