"Terrified" sounds like a pretty normal response to me! But I'm sure everything will go super smoothly and you'll have a healthy, happy baby. And 15 years from now when said baby is driving you crazy with teenage mayhem you can say "look what I went through to bring you into this world! the least you can do is behave for five minutes!" *grin*
Hang in there, Suzanne! Gabi's birth sounds much like J's, and from what I've heard the scheduled c/s is a whole lot easier to handle than all that uncertainty and stress. I know what you mean about all the medical bells and whistles, though. *sigh*
I had a c-section with my last one. I didn't feel at all like a failure...I just felt happy to get him out at that point! (twenty-three hours of labor). It is not as scary as you think and the recovery is pretty quick. the only thing that stinks is having to stay in the hospital a little longer than with a natural birth. I am so excited for you, a new baby. My youngest is two now and I miss all the little newborn things...good luck and good health. I look forward to hearing about the new bundle soon.
I'm with Jenn on this one. My first child was an unexpected C-section after 23 hours of labor. It was fine--I was able to hold my baby on the OR table, too. I had no trouble afterward, either. I was scheduled for a repeat c-section, but my daughter decided to be born 3-1/2 weeks early, only a couple of hours after labor started. She came faster than the OR team could get to the delivery floor and almost faster than I could get to the hospital. A healthy mom and a healthy baby are always success stories, no matter what route the birthing takes.
Suzanne--I've had two c-sections--one emergency after (like others here) 23 hours of labor. The other was scheduled, and it went really well. You are not a failure. Anyone who even hints that you are, esp. a woman, should be told to f-off. I can tell you everything about my scheduled section, what to expect, how long, etc. if you want. Take care of yourself!
God yes it's terrifying. You're so brave and wonderful. Nothing failed about you. I'm thinking that diabetic diet must feel like a real damper on the party, but don't let it feel ominous. The c-section will go quickly and well, and I'll be here on the sidelines shouting "you are a mother hero!" when it happens. You are!xoxo,Gina
After I had my son, I decided to get cats instead.
My good thoughts and prayers are with you, and you're not a failure - until I was a teenager, I thought every baby was a C-section, I believe because every baby born on TV/soap operas was a C-section. When I found out about the "other" way women had kids, I was like, wow, the C-section seems a lot easier and more glamorous...Anyway, many hugs...
Thanks for the much needed empathy ladies. I feel like such a chicken. It's not the c-section that makes me feel like a failure--it's my body with its pelvis that apparently isn't the same as those women whose babies fall out. I think it may also be all the natural childbirth propaganda. The reality is that childbirth is pretty damn dangerous and y'all reminded me that I've been very lucky to come out of the experience O.K. and with healthy babies.Alison,I will definitely tell my [censored] to f-off the next time she tells me,"But, they have to cut through so many layers of skin for that!" So far all I've been able to say is, "Yeah. They cut through all them." In fact I may not speak to my [censored] at all since she keeps making me feel like I have a freakin' choice in the matter. And absolutely I would love to hear about your experience with the scheduled c-section. I think I'm most worried about taking care of Jack during recovery.Gina,You're the best! Loveyougirl. xoxoxRebecca,We can't have cats. The man is allergic. :-(
Almost missed you J. When I was little I thought all babies were born wearing Pampers. (The only babies I had seen were on T.V.) I was pretty damned shocked when I found that they were born naked. Thanks, sweetpea.
In Lamaze class they showed us FILMS of C-sections--up close! I was terrified, until it suddenly dawned on me that I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WATCH IT if I had one, and that this film angle amounted to nothing less then sheer harassment, and in all the courage of my hormones I walked out of the class. Swearing in a most unmaternal fashion.You send me the name of that person scaring you like this and I'll take her out.Failure? Has this society ever done a job on women! Honey, you just demand anything you can think of to make it easier. If you want somebody to rub your feet, go for it. (If you can feel your feet.) If you need to ban certain people from coming withing 100 yards, take out a restraining order. Be a queen bee. It's your party and they can't have it without you. Hugs.
PS-- (in a quieter voice.) I think there comes a time in every pregnancy when what's ahead suddenly gets very real and sobering. It tends to be late, when you suddenly don't feel as cute as everyone thinks you are, but just heavy, and tired. And you realize there's no way back, etc. Women get this serious, inward look, and I don't know about you but I lost my sense of humor, along with any sense of charity toward any woman with a waistline. I'm not making a joke here, it's a very real stage in preparing to give birth. I guess it makes as much sense as cleaning the house. Third time you probably hoped you could at least know what was ahead and instead you get thrown this curveball and it sets you back, it sets you back... I think the original terror goes back to earlier times when it really was so damn dangerous, and anything that complicates the process, anything new, and scary in its own right can throw you right into that ancestral, primal fear. I think it's in our cells, just ready to be triggered. And this is a big trigger. And you are going to do great. I just wish there was a way to wipe the thought out of your mind for the next eight weeks so you didn't have to worry!
Cynthia, Those classes are horrifying! I went to one on breastfeeding and the film freaked me out so much, I almost didn't nurse. Wouldn't it be great if you could take her out! [gleeful giggle] Unfortunately, she's my cross to bear--I must have done something terrible in a past life--and I'm hoping that I'll get rid of her after this life. ;-) She's definitely banned, though. You're absolutely right:'This ain't no party, this ain't no discothis ain't no fooling around'I agree with you about the primal fear kicking in--and there is a point when you realize that the baby actually has to come out...that you can't chicken out of going through...it's entirely sobering. Alison was kind enough to give me a very detailed blow by blow on what to expect and put my vivid imagination to rest. I'm resolute. I am not going to worry about it anymore. This is the last time I'll be expecting and I'm going to enjoy it and not let anyone or any procedure ruin the experience. Damn it I am the Queen Bee! Thanks, C. I wish you were here. I love your fierceness and your softness. xoxox__________I almost deleted this post and I'm so glad I didn't. Ladies, you R O C K!
Reading back through all these comments I feel like the bloggers have circled the wagons, made a protective ring around you, and wrapped you up with psychic protection. It's quite a lovely exchange. And I'm glad you got the detailed C-section report to put your imagination a little more at ease.
PS-- We're your coven. Witches, midwives the same, right? Hold the bat wings and porcupine eyelashes. Drink those good berry teas.
Best wishes Suzanne. One of my sisters is looking at a schedule C/S soon too . . . I suggested she think of it like a scheduled airline flight, first class, where she'll land on the other side with a beautiful baby!
C, the energy was almost tangible--I can only imagine what it would have been like to have had you all in my living room. And what do we have here? A wizard!Thank you, Peter, that's a great way to look at it. :-)
Suzanne, the scheduled c/s will be safer for the baby too--look at it like that. Peter's take is one I really like--there've been so many advances in technique in the last few years, I'm betting you'll bounce back. I'm beyond the baby years, but your post brought back many memories for me. I worried about everything, but it all worked out fine. And look at all of us who care enough about you to talk about having babies in public!Best wishes to you and the wee one,Kay
Thanks so much, Kay! :-)
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